goodbye, farewell, adieu

In a year which is doing its level best to throw up one unexpected and bizarre story after another, news which would normally warrant the raising of an eyebrow or several no longer cuts the mustard, and is relegated to a few unwanted column inches at the bottom corner of a left-hand page.

So it is that the decision of Stephen Yaxley-Lennon – a man who has spent way more time than is healthy persuading the embittered and gullible that their money is better off in his hands – to shift his sorry arse from our bewildered little island to Spain, well, it barely causes a ripple in the collective consciousness. Yes, there’s a delicious irony in the fact that a bloke who’s banged on about immigrants the moment someone (usually himself) starts filming him on their mobile phone, is now heading over to Europe to become an…er… immigrant, but other than that, has anything changed? A grifter’s gotta grift, wherever he is, and – even as I type – there’s doubtless some tearful appeal for financial support being made ready to share with those folk deluded enough to believe they’re helping kEep bRiTAiN fReE by giving him their dosh.

And here? Well, odds are some other fringe character will see the gap in the market left by Yax’s departure, and step in sharpish. There’s money to be made at grifting, see, and it disappears as fast – nose candy, a new set of teeth, or a wardrobe of sharp suits don’t come cheap – which is why the grift is endless.

And now I’ve got that off my chest, here’s a poem. I hope you enjoy it.

In a difficult year, an ode to the welcome news that Stephen Yaxley-Lennon
is leaving this island to live abroad.

Tommeh’s done a runner
he’s left, he’s flit, he’s gone
Blighty’s getting brighter
now the grifter’s jogging on
he’s off to fair Espana
to get a tan and moan
about how England isn’t England now
and the Costa is his home
he’s an immigrant, a refugee
could the irony be deeper?
P.S. there’s no truth in nasty rumours
that he’s heard coke in Spain is cheaper.

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